BREAKING IT DOWN: THE THINGS WE DESTROY AS POLE DANCERS

 

From top to bottom of the room, nothing can resist a heel kick or head bump from a thrashing pole session, and The Unicorn has decided to make a special service for those poor objects that died on the path of Polezilla!
While these happen mostly when pole dancing at home – because of lack of space, let’s bet that studios are not safe from clumsy polers!


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LAMPS

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Number one soldier dead on the battlefront! Spinning mode is the nightmare of all lights hanging at body reach, and even if we know they’re there (and try to remember not to extend that leg so much), we end up getting carried away by the music, wanting to work on our lines, and wham!
The lightbulb explodes, at best, but most of the time the shade flies through the room and you’re good to make an umpteenth Ikea trip.


MIRRORS


Pleaser heels 1 – mirror 0
Photo credit: Pinterest

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Mirrors are a little more dangerous than lamps when it comes to breaking things, because they have a bad habit of shattering into a million pieces that you then spend days collecting in your vaccum cleaner, and they can also embed themselves in things around, including your skin. Ouch!
My tip? Make sure that, if you use sticking mirrors (like those at Ikea), your walls are flat, otherwise corners will come poking out and it’s an added risk to have them fall off completely, or to accidentally hook your foot/hand/etc to the poking corner.


CEILING and FLOOR


‘Dancing on the ceiling!’ Lionel Richie said…
Photo credit: Ebony

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This looks like crop circles from some weird Satanic ritual – but nope – it’s the rubber coming off those heels! A scratch here and a scratch there till eventually your ceiling crumbles! Off you go, ceiling paint!
Oh, heels, heels, heels… what are we gonna do with you? We love you but… look at the floor as well! Nothing is safe: hard wood, tiles, linoleum, they all end up with black marks thanks to your rubber soles. When it’s not abrasion…
But the floor and ceiling do pay it back to you in terms of peeling paint, don’t they?


CATS


This kitty knows best!
Photo credit: Pinterest

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Yes, I plead guilty. But no, I didn’t break the cat! Phew!
Not proud of it but I accidentally slapped one of my cats while spinning. They know the pole room is a danger zone but they can’t help trying to peep to see what I’m doing, and when a hand’s loose, they think it’s a good time for an ear scratch! Not so much!
A few treats and a belly rub and that was forgotten, fortunately!


POLE MATES


Photo credit: Giphy

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I won’t believe you if you tell me you have never accidentally kicked/slapped/scratched/booty bumped a pole class mate at least once!
Whether it happens while they’re spotting you, or they get too close for comfort, forgetting the safe distance (maybe we should invent pole blinkers?), our poor pole friends might bruise from totally something else than pole tricks!


Plead guilty with us! Let us know what you broke, and even better, show evidence if you immortalized it with a picture!

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About Kei

Kei is a Paris-based freelancer (writer, editor, proofreader, translator, web redactor, community manager and coach for writers). She discovered pole dance in 2013, and has mixed her passion for writing with it since then, publishing numerous guest posts on various pole dance blogs. Besides pole dancing, she loves playing bass, creating websites, cooking (vegan!) and being a crazy cat lady. You can find more about her and her work at : http://www.cloudbusting.fr

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