THE 10 STAGES OF POLE ADDICTION

Seasoned pole dancers will probably remember these stages fondly, their mind wandering back to the time they jumped into what would be one of the best things in their lives (okay, the best, let’s be honest here!), and beginners will probably recognise themselves in one of those, but fear not, baby polers, it keeps getting better and better!
Take a journey with The Unicorn into the 10 stages of pole dance addiction!

 

1 – BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

You admire the pole stars on video, you’ve heard friends describe their first lesson, and you’re a little curious, but the more you see and hear, the eager you get to put your hands on a pole.
But you’re scared. And you feel like you’re not in shape enough to pole (check this article from the blog that will prove you wrong!), and you start making a lot of excuses, but deep down inside you dream of it every night!

 

 

2 – LOVE AT FIRST FEEL

It’s D day, you finally had the guts to sign up for a trial class, and you’re still wondering what you’re doing here as you discreetly eye the other beginners, as the teacher arrives.
But the magic begins, like it always does! Your classmates are fun and friendly, your teacher looks like some magical unicorn, and not even the hardcore warmup, the pain, the bruises and your pants riding up your bum can take that huge smile off your face! You’re hooked!

 

 

3 – THUNDERSTRUCK

That’s how it feels like! You’ve found the perfect physical activity for yourself, and you wonder how you have done without it until now!
You subscribed to a full term right after your first lesson, and next week can’t come fast enough!

 

 

4 – FIRE YOUR GUNS

Oh yes these are guns, love guns! Your first pair of heels!
Who cares that you can’t walk in those 7 inches yet, you’ve already taken a million pictures of your feet adorned with them and posted half of them on Facebook!
Which leads you to the next stage…

 

 

5 – CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN

It’s out in the open! You were a little hesitant at first, but oh well, you love pole too much not to shout it loud and proud! Facebook, Instagram, your family, everybody knows now! And even if some are not as supportive as you thought they’d be, the pole family is there and they make up for all the rest!

 

 

6 – GIRLS GOT RHYTHM

The good thing with pole is that you don’t need to have all the super advanced tricks to dance. The first time you dance a full choreo is something you can’t forget! It might have been pretty simple, but you felt as if you owned the place, you let loose and it felt amazing!

 

 

7 – GET IT HOT

Your pole wardrobe expands, and the higher the heels, the shorter the pants! And the glitter! You can’t get enough of all the pretty things, and you choose your outfit for your next pole lesson more carefully than what you’re wearing at work. You’re screwed! (or at least your bank account is!)

 

 

8 – BAPTISM BY FIRE

Whether it’s the end-of-the-year show of your studio, your first competition or a dance in front of friends, it’s scary but at the same time so thrilling, and you can’t help but think that you’d do that forever if you had the chance, because really, all you want to do is pole dance and make the show!

 

 

9 – THAT’S THE WAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL

Or maybe become a teacher? And here you are, budgeting, filling Excel tables, daydreaming and evaluating your options. “Can I really make a living out of it?” you ask yourself. All polers have been there at some point because doing what you love as a full time job is what we all want. Not everyone will be able/have the drive/have the money to be a full time pole dancer though, but that’s okay!

 

 

10 – RIDE ON

You’ve found your balance, and you might be a pole teacher, a showgirl, or still a pole student, but you know what pole dance means to you and how you want it to fit in your life. And it makes you happy, unicorn, doesn’t it?

 

 

So, Unicorns, which stage are you at? 
(Remember, there’s no good or bad stage, they’re all really awesome, so enjoy the ride!)
(And yes I love AC DC haha!)

 

(photo credits: 3 – Giphy/5 – Istock/7 – Kei/9 – Istock)

About Kei

Kei is a Paris-based freelancer (writer, editor, proofreader, translator, web redactor, community manager and coach for writers). She discovered pole dance in 2013, and has mixed her passion for writing with it since then, publishing numerous guest posts on various pole dance blogs. Besides pole dancing, she loves playing bass, creating websites, cooking (vegan!) and being a crazy cat lady. You can find more about her and her work at : http://www.cloudbusting.fr